Teach Me How to Sláinte:
Your Guide to Surviving St. Patrick’s Day.
You may have gathered from poking around our fine website that we’re Scottish through and through. We make a big exception for this time of the year, however: St. Patrick’s Day is the number one kilt-wearing holiday on the calendar. We like to call it our Green Friday.
So in the interest of indulging our Irish side, Sport Kilt has put together this guide to surviving St. Patrick’s Day. And by “surviving” we mean, we know you’re going to indulge* your Irish side** many times over, so here’s how to do so responsibly. You know, the Irish way.
Celebrating if You’re Not Irish
These are sensitive times we live in, so it’s perfectly cromulent to question your cultural sensitivity as a non-Irish person putting on a big foam shamrock hat. Good on ya for this bit of introspection, but worry not: St. Patrick himself was…not Irish! That’s right, the 5th-century would-be priest was actually a Welshman sold into shepherding on the Emerald Isle after being captured by pirates. Patrick wasn’t even his real name! So go ahead and dye your hair a fiery shade of orange, no one will call you out on it.
Attending a Parade
Stumble outside of your local pub for some fresh air and you may find yourself smack dab in the middle of a procession of green baton twirlers, stout beer floats, leprechaun babies and truant college students. It’s a parade! Keep calm, walk merrily in the direction of traffic and remember that this is a distinctly American tradition, dating back to the late 1700s in New York.
Drinking Green Beer
Does green make beer taste better? Results may be inconclusive at first, which is why you might repeat the experiment five or six more times. Just remember, what goes in as green comes out as all the colors of the rainbow mixed together, so pace yourself.
Cruising Down a Green River
The dying of a major waterway is unique to our Chicago friends, and it’s a tradition we love. But it’s also an ironic one, since the original color associated with St. Patrick was blue (coincidentally, the color most associated with water). Irish revolutionaries swapped the blue kits for green ones during the Irish Rebellion of 1798, and the color stuck.
We take a firm anti-uninvited violence stance at Sport Kilt, and the omission of green from one’s wardrobe is hardly public permission for this sort of problematic behavior. Instead, compliment them on their blue hues, if applicable (see above), or point them in the direction of our catalog, where we have Irish-themed green tartans for all occasions.
Talking the Irish way
If you’re going on the tear this year, might as well learn some quick Irish lingo to help you out in a pinch. Try these phrases on for size, and if you’re really feeling up to it, sprinkle the accent on ‘em too:
What’s the craic? – what’s up?
Wind your neck in – mind your own business
Fair play! – well done!
Now you’re sucking diesel – things are going great
Wired to the moon – that March 18th morning feeling
Dressing the part
A splash of green on your socks is well and good, but to really do St. Patrick proud this year how’s about you embody the holiday from head to toe? While kilts are traditionally linked to Scottish clans, The Irish have worn kilts for centuries to pay homage to geography (counties, historical lands). There’s no better way to represent the Emerald Isle than with a Sport Kilt Men’s & Women’s St. Patrick’s Day package featuring your choice of green tartan, as well as all-Irish accessories. Made in the USA, but repping Ireland all the way.
Remaining Sober and Sound of Mind
You may not have considered the other side of the St. Patrick’s Day perspective, whereby you sit back and simply observe the bedlam taking place in front of you. This may prove to be equally as disorienting as participating, but rest assured come March 18th you’ll be the one celebrating your decision-making.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, kilt lovers! Celebrate with these items perfect for making yourself as Irish as you want to be.
Feeling lucky Clan Brave?
Green is good. Especially now that we’re a mere days away from the holiday circled on calendars from the Emerald Isle to the vaguely Boston-themed sports bar in your nearest suburb.
That’s right – it’s almost St. Patrick’s Day. So, hold your four-leaf clovers tight because we’re giving away some of our favorite Irish Sport Kilt products as we countdown to March 17. Head to our Facebook page from March 1 to March 17 for your chance to win by tagging a friend and sharing our daily posts.