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Teach Me How to Sláinte:

Your Guide to Surviving St. Patrick’s Day.

You may have gathered from poking around our fine website that we’re Scottish through and through. We make a big exception for this time of the year, however: St. Patrick’s Day is the number one kilt-wearing holiday on the calendar. We like to call it our Green Friday.

So in the interest of indulging our Irish side, Sport Kilt has put together this guide to surviving St. Patrick’s Day. And by “surviving” we mean, we know you’re going to indulge* your Irish side** many times over, so here’s how to do so responsibly. You know, the Irish way.

*drink

**beer

 

Celebrating if You’re Not Irish

These are sensitive times we live in, so it’s perfectly cromulent to question your cultural sensitivity as a non-Irish person putting on a big foam shamrock hat. Good on ya for this bit of introspection, but worry not: St. Patrick himself was…not Irish! That’s right, the 5th-century would-be priest was actually a Welshman sold into shepherding on the Emerald Isle after being captured by pirates. Patrick wasn’t even his real name! So go ahead and dye your hair a fiery shade of orange, no one will call you out on it.

Attending a Parade

Stumble outside of your local pub for some fresh air and you may find yourself smack dab in the middle of a procession of green baton twirlers, stout beer floats, leprechaun babies and truant college students. It’s a parade! Keep calm, walk merrily in the direction of traffic and remember that this is a distinctly American tradition, dating back to the late 1700s in New York.

Drinking Green Beer

Does green make beer taste better? Results may be inconclusive at first, which is why you might repeat the experiment five or six more times. Just remember, what goes in as green comes out as all the colors of the rainbow mixed together, so pace yourself.

Cruising Down a Green River

The dying of a major waterway is unique to our Chicago friends, and it’s a tradition we love. But it’s also an ironic one, since the original color associated with St. Patrick was blue (coincidentally, the color most associated with water). Irish revolutionaries swapped the blue kits for green ones during the Irish Rebellion of 1798, and the color stuck.

Pinching Someone

We take a firm anti-uninvited violence stance at Sport Kilt, and the omission of green from one’s wardrobe is hardly public permission for this sort of problematic behavior. Instead, compliment them on their blue hues, if applicable (see above), or point them in the direction of our catalog, where we have Irish-themed green tartans for all occasions.

Remaining Sober and Sound of Mind

You may not have considered the other side of the St. Patrick’s Day perspective, whereby you sit back and simply observe the bedlam taking place in front of you. This may prove to be equally as disorienting as participating, but rest assured come March 18th you’ll be the one celebrating your decision-making.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, kilt lovers! Celebrate with these items perfect for making yourself as Irish as you want to be.

30 Days o’ St. Pat’s

Green is good. Especially now that we’re a mere 30 days away from the holiday circled on calendars from the Emerald Isle to the vaguely Boston-themed sports bar in your nearest suburb.

That’s right – it’s almost St. Patrick’s Day and we’re counting down by giving away a new product every day as part of Sport Kilt’s 30 Days o’ St. Pat’s! Put the clover down and head to our Facebook page between now and March 17 for your chance to win by tagging a friend and sharing our daily posts.

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